28 June 2006
death felt so fresh tonight
death felt so fresh tonight
standing at the ball diamond
as the pastor raised his arms
against an overcast sky.i did not know
he who died so while everyone
bowed their heads in prayer I stared
up at dark moving clouds
waiting for some sign from god.life is a vapour,
said the pastor,
and a brilliant rainbow appeared,
later, after a short storm, when I was already home
watching it from my bedroom window and
though touching it was
too late to base any sort
of conclusion upon.
standing at the ball diamond
as the pastor raised his arms
against an overcast sky.i did not know
he who died so while everyone
bowed their heads in prayer I stared
up at dark moving clouds
waiting for some sign from god.life is a vapour,
said the pastor,
and a brilliant rainbow appeared,
later, after a short storm, when I was already home
watching it from my bedroom window and
though touching it was
too late to base any sort
of conclusion upon.
27 June 2006
mahogony
exercise
yr heart;
exorcise
yr heart.
white4 black 4 red
fingernails
yr heart;
exorcise
yr heart.
white4 black 4 red
fingernails
26 June 2006
11:47
outside, a heavy rain falls against th porch..th sliding door is open..it’s been a hot summer with little relief..quieter than raindrops, jay leno mumbles through his monologue..then, th screendoor slides open..i know it's th nurse..she searches for me in th television flicker..i hate how she uses th backdoor and just walks in..she finds me on th couch and i dont look up..
she left th hospital to bring me narcotics and shiraz..she is marryd but not happy..days earlier, I cut part of my finger off - my pointing finger, cutting a red pepper..th knife slipd on a seed..there is trouble w- ei..my pointing finger throbs beneath a white bandage..it bleeds through as she undoes her uniform in th middle of the room..i just want th drugs but she walks into th kitchen and uncorks..she tricks my blood..she only comes when her husband is out of town..
i don’t care;
im convinced i don’t respect her..she cheats..she just shows up at my backdoor..th nurse..like im an emergency..th codeine starts to sleep w- the shiraz..my blood swirls slowly as she climbs me on th couch..th windows are dark..her tand arm is scentd of cotton and penicillin as it brushes my unshaven cheek..conan starts..i say I need to lie down and she follows my tall and unstable body to th bedroom..
i collapse onto th waterbed..th blood in my arteries pulses thick and slow and she uses each wave for leverage..my consent comes late..to sleep her moans..
she left th hospital to bring me narcotics and shiraz..she is marryd but not happy..days earlier, I cut part of my finger off - my pointing finger, cutting a red pepper..th knife slipd on a seed..there is trouble w- ei..my pointing finger throbs beneath a white bandage..it bleeds through as she undoes her uniform in th middle of the room..i just want th drugs but she walks into th kitchen and uncorks..she tricks my blood..she only comes when her husband is out of town..
i don’t care;
im convinced i don’t respect her..she cheats..she just shows up at my backdoor..th nurse..like im an emergency..th codeine starts to sleep w- the shiraz..my blood swirls slowly as she climbs me on th couch..th windows are dark..her tand arm is scentd of cotton and penicillin as it brushes my unshaven cheek..conan starts..i say I need to lie down and she follows my tall and unstable body to th bedroom..
i collapse onto th waterbed..th blood in my arteries pulses thick and slow and she uses each wave for leverage..my consent comes late..to sleep her moans..
16 June 2006
15 June 2006
i dont think
i dont think
to fuck a stranger is a good idea
to leave th house
at 1:30 am.
to fuck a stranger is a good idea
to leave th house
at 1:30 am.
14 June 2006
th'abandond garden
eating heart amid burning grass. vanilla scente
er orchid grunt.huhrelationship – tiny veins are ballerina wires.francemanicure draws bad blood from my fingers, deepr than an ultrasound now.found eden,
a tiny floating seed; and out came tumbling
an apple.not too heavenly, and not too loud paper-thin ear drummers go liste-lay lemon ee so.9a small wet sauvignon dream
of petals.nervous on an abandond thigh. fall should be finer, sylvi, I promise
cream bombs of stimu then, my tiny veins, dancer wires,heart drapes for yr bedroom. 9 Editorial angels
toil over th cave metaphor
in an abandond garden.
10 June 2006
tastes like you but sweeter
she took me to a skin flick
and afterwards tried to cover her skinnocence
w- steamd vanilla milk.
and afterwards tried to cover her skinnocence
w- steamd vanilla milk.
deep in my public pool
my poem put love down there
on th bottom of th pooland a girl died swimming for it.she punchd th water
bound to some lines
I left behind. ( no one else in me
a no show
)waking up th names
in th shallow end and my poem startd to puke never ending baby
’s breath.male lace strap fear
put around my love
to swim down and save her.
08 June 2006
i never smiled (th most pathetic apology)
stripd on th’edge of a bed
th motel smoke and midnight
monologue closes my eyes over
her older skin.she’d been born longer, been w-
child and wasted more maybes, yet I had walkd
further and seen th’inside of more miles.I learnd maybes
under th shotgun, in order to taste all of
th sun’s ash, even if maybe I didn’t want her shade
cast candlelit across my heartskin…while circling
high in th rafters of an irish pub thoughts
of me sleeping innocent or perhaps reading a smile
flitterd in th dim light from a chestnut mind being
pinchd by th dim wit of customers.not th housewife
scandal that stretchd to 3 a.m.this is
an apology, th most pathetic apology, some
where you will never read it, some
thing I will never say.this is a most pathetic apology
you will never know
for making that phonecall and drinking those apple
martinis and walking down that narrow hall and into some cold motel
room whilst you were working away.
th motel smoke and midnight
monologue closes my eyes over
her older skin.she’d been born longer, been w-
child and wasted more maybes, yet I had walkd
further and seen th’inside of more miles.I learnd maybes
under th shotgun, in order to taste all of
th sun’s ash, even if maybe I didn’t want her shade
cast candlelit across my heartskin…while circling
high in th rafters of an irish pub thoughts
of me sleeping innocent or perhaps reading a smile
flitterd in th dim light from a chestnut mind being
pinchd by th dim wit of customers.not th housewife
scandal that stretchd to 3 a.m.this is
an apology, th most pathetic apology, some
where you will never read it, some
thing I will never say.this is a most pathetic apology
you will never know
for making that phonecall and drinking those apple
martinis and walking down that narrow hall and into some cold motel
room whilst you were working away.
04 June 2006
outboard angels
home
i saidi live here now
but it was only a river. so i
suggestd body shots
when she ask’d for th’ocean, andand pickd up a bottle of cuervo
from th bar.she lookd away and didn’t have anything to sayb/c she knew I was on th river
to stay.
03 June 2006
inside a marsupial
Australia bends and wiggles,
a soft coastline of kahlua hair.& inland,
that’s th good stuff, where breast milk makes brown cows,that’s worth another drink.Finding where th pressure of 200-lbs of canada feels best -
on a couch from behind;tongueing th sweat salty like vegemite off her neck.Stars bust nuts and jack johnson is in th moon.
She spends northern nights in a bikini.
Flecks of coral in her eyes. Waves of red wine down throats and
i feel like iv lived on th’ocean my whole life,
drifting up and down towards th golden horizon
of her shoulder.
(a fine balance we made th world
for years
in far away continents
as rivers to oceans,
snowpants to capris
spruce trees to denim seas;and now
candle wax to time zones
mad white beaches flicker
as we body surf th carpet)02 June 2006
heart in a cage
